Yeah, I hate ’em.
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| Not where chocolate milk comes from. Duh, that’s from chocolate goats. |
Here’s ten for you that revolve around fly fishing. I have more, but a list of ten seems about enough.
Why now? Because I feel like being opinionated for a change.
Starting with…
FASCINATION WITH PBR – Pssst…cool Montana fly fisher guy, you’re drinking the same beer attention-seeking hipsters do. The only acceptable PBR is this PBR.
BAMBOO RODS – Whatever…can I interest you in a rotary phone for $2,300? Wax this ferrule.
“SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL FLY SHOP” – Eh, not if they give crappy service…oh, and constantly whine about how “big boxes” & e-commerce are killing them. Adapt. Evolve. Move on.
CATCH MAGAZINE – It’s a great picture book. Any reason why every blogger, tweeter, & facebooker has to announce its monthly release?
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| A small sampling… |
GOLDEN BONES – I like carp, but enough with the glorification as the future of fly fishing crap already. I get it. They’re big. So is your mom and I don’t write article after article about her.
BRISTOL BAY/PEBBLE MINE – Okay, we heard you for the 14,023rd time. Enough. You’re past the point of being tuned out.
DEREK DEYOUNG – Ultra talented artist, but if I see his stuff on another t-shirt or fly box or toilet paper holder…
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| My art is mesmerizing…no? |
FLY FISHING BLOGS – Yeah, flailing a 5-weight doesn’t mean you automatically should write – and guess what, nobody reads your blog because it’s pretty damn uninteresting, just like mine. I blame the OBN. OK, not really. (Speaking of which, when’s the OBN going to stop giving away fishing gloves and lanterns and put together a meeting or conference or something, so you know, us outdoor bloggers can…ummm…network?)
KIRK DEETER – Total respect for the guy…and he’s originally from Pennsylvania. But writing for 107 publications/organizations/and trade rags may constitute as overexposure. Where are the comic books Deeter?
GO PRO CAMERAS – See fly fishing blogs above. You ain’t Yukon Goes Fishing.
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| Hawgdog55…you’re doing it wrong. |
I’d toss tenkara in there (I love the tool, but not the “simple is superior” complex that often accompanies it) but it already gets made fun of plenty. A graphite cane pole can’t be a sacred cow.
You got any sacred cows you want to pick on? I know you do. Let’s discuss.
C’mon, grow a set and add your own to the comments below…
Somewhere Marilyn McCoo is smiling.
Sorry about that. Glad you found it, but you weren't missing much. Is there a European PBR counterpart?
No worries Anon. I actually watched that movie in college and recall that scene vividly. I had some bullshit art elective class that focused on the works of David Lynch…specifically Twin Peaks (we watched the whole season beginning to end), and also watched Blue Velvet. I honestly couldn't tell you what I learned other than Leland killed Laura Palmer.
Wow, with that justification I respect your opinion on PBR. If I had faith that others had the same background, it might come off the list.
Ouch…another shot at fly shops.
For some reason, I kinda like it.
Agreed. Everyone should stop doing GoPro that looks like GoPro. That stuff sucks… except my stuff, which is pretty awesome. (and no, I'm not being ironic).As for beer,the coolest kind of beer is free, don't care who else drinks it. Used to drink Icehouse when I was in JAX. Icehouse slogan: “For the real beer taste.” Yeeeaaah…Personally, I prefer rum, but haven't been able to get Appleton Estate to sponsor me yet. Cheap bastards.
It is what it is, I guess. It's not fair to compare it to anything except other American lagers, and within that arena, it stands head and shoulders over Budmilloors of any variety.The cult following really is a bit silly, though, as there are far better brews readily available.
People who say, when they hook a fish, “That's what I'm talking' about!!!!”
Kelly Galloup's streamers. I'd like to see his arrogant ass locked up with Bubba in a sex dungeon. He'd make a good butt monkey.
It's the original banquet beer. What's not to like?
Glorious rant. Let's add overuse of Instagram. Cool filters can't make up for lousy shot composition. JGR
The rich “white guy” – ? Ooooooh K…
Moses who?
THAT's WHAT I'm TALKin 'BOUT!
That Owl Jones guy. Enough already. I mean, it's like the freaking Seinfeld of blogs over there. I wish he'd just get lost in the mountains already.
Yes well Fred, take a number and get in line buddy. PS – I added to your list. http://www.troutrageous.com/2012/06/ten-sacred-cows-of-fly-fishing.html
Oh crap. That's not the right URL. Hang on…screw it – just go to the blog. I added 10 more. Sort of. you know. whatever.
Such a hipster…
While he might be a really nice guy, I gotta agree on this one. Fly fishing as a whole needs to get away from the kind of “I can be cool too!” faux-edginess that the Galloup pattern nomenclature exemplifies.
I actually like the only fly shop I frequent. The guys are super nice and even carry spinning gear (very expensive, top-of-the-line, but still). Down to earth folk. Of course, there's no actual fly shop where I live, so folks that bitch about being able to walk into a store and sort through a couple dozen options for fly-fishing hooks (without having to click through hundreds of lo-rez-blurry pics online, place an order, try to figure out how to enter an address that simply doesn't have a ZIP code, and then wrangle with customs officials to release said property) are really just little bitches. Sorry. There are folks in this world for whom a simple fly shop is pretty near heaven, whoever's behind the counter.
Ooops… I may have said too much.
In the overused word of another famous fishing blogger “Classic!” Having only been fly fishing for 6 years, I am getting feed up with many of the scared cows. I made a “tongue in check” comment about the fly fishing fascination with PBR on another blog and was politely dismissed for not being with the program. Yes, I'm one of those bloggers that is posting less frequently but truly enjoy the online fishing community. Generally speaking, the interaction and dialog is supportive and positive. T! is one of those places that always puts a smile on your face. I do enjoy tying flies, sharing them with friends and do want to catch a carp on the fly. My local fly shop is fantastic and I will continue to support it whenever possible. Give it another 6 years and I'm sure the attitude will change. BTW, if you truly live on the East Coast, fishing the salt is just as easy/inexpensive as fishing the local ponds and streams. Signed,One broke old white guy.
wow. don't think there is much to add… I guess maybe Erin from Mysteries Internal. She pretty much misses the mark with each of her posts. I still haven't figured out why she is popular 🙂 Great post and fun to read the diverse commentary. Excellent work, good sir.
A rum sponsorship would be great. That's worth looking into by many in the “industry.”
But ummm…I can..be..cool too…?
Agreed, and guilty as charged.
Personally can't stand that Owl Jones guy. He should just concentrate on selling poppers and leave us all alone.
One can never say too much here.
Mysteries Internal was number 11. I mean where does she get off writing like real stuff that I actually have to think about when I read?
Good perspective GC, glad we're in agreement on most things. Where we're not, you're clearly wrong. 🙂
This is awesome. Smart, funny, ballsy post. Thx to Tom at T.U. for the link. (Tom, we've had our differences, but you find and link to some great shit–like this. Plus your last piece in California Fly Fisher was killer.) Troutrageous–it's not necessarily your “list” that I enjoyed so much, it's your comments. “Can I interest you in a rotary phone for $2,300?” That's funny shit.My three favorite comments:1) That a guy calling himself “Gin Clear” would call ANOTHER phrase “overused”2) Anonymous using the phrase “in the film's beard”3) That 3d3vart calls the entire ocean “inaccessible.” Maybe saltwater seems inaccessible to him because he thinks it costs “$1500/day”. Are you solo-chartering marlin boats off the coast of Africa? My three additions to the Sacred Cow list:1) April Vokey. I got nothing against the girl herself, but I can't imagine any industry's media stumbling over each other more unless Outside magazine and Men's Journal were to simultaneously discover that Lance Armstrong and Laird Hamilton were dating.2) The sanctity of “native” fish. The upper middle west branch of the Luckisuckimuckimute River has a threatened population of semi-spotted brookies. Fine. But Humpback Chub and Razerback Sucker? Sorry, can't say that I care. Let's remember: WE aren't native either, so lets not get too wrapped up in it. West coast steelhead are worth fighting for, but logical extensions of some native fish arguments would have us removing every bass and brown trout in the country. As David James Duncan so famously said “Judging by the history of most natives I've known, the biggest difference between the born here's and the newcomers is that the born here's have had more time to turn the native landscape into an unnatural, non-native place.” 3) Felt Soul Media. Seriously, can't ANYone say something bad about these guys? I mean, they're not THAT great. Do you know that they are currently making a movie about dam removal? You know what that means—goodbye tailwaters! Thanks a lot, Felt Soul!
Sacred Cow #69: When you get a photo in a fly fishing rag, you have to hold a trout like its Dirk Diggler's San Juan worm near your center of gravity, with back arched, and trout lips gaping. This seems to be the standard these days. The true way to hold a large trout for a photo is to hold it like a machine gun, think Steve Harris the bass player from Iron Maiden.
Interesting post, I agree with what was said, and a lot more. A few days ago I did a similar post, but a bit more all-encompassing. Been fishing since Eisenhower's administration, and get weary of the attitude that's existed for the past decade or so. Oh well, us geezers will be gone in a few years…Cheers,Mike
Ha! Apparently Tom Bie has been getting “quid pro quo” trips for the Drake for so long that he's become blind to how expensive a trip to Andros, Acscension, Los Roques, or any other of those awesome locations really is. “inaccesible”…no. “much less accessible than most anything else out there”…yes. Keep up the good work Bie and come fish with the common man again someday soon.
You are a stronger man than I sitting through the entirety of Twin Peaks. There must have been some hot chicks in that class to make it worthwhile.
I'm in. When and where?
“….You know what that means—goodbye tailwaters! Thanks a lot, Felt Soul!”Shit, I've missed such an obvious flaw in the dam removal logic. I've gotta go update my manifesto.
Thats three. I'd imagine central PA would be perfect. Limestone for the tweed crowd, the river for smallies…
Exactly 🙂
That lady has a lot of words. A lot. Of course, so did Singlebarbed, but he mixed his up so's you weren't sucked into anything so mundane as a narrative… or a sentence.
Actually, that guy should be #11. Seriously, not an actual coherent sentence in the house.
There were. I'll leave it at that.
Tom, if you're dishing out compliments…”smart, funny, ballsy”…thanks. I've used all my wit and sarcasm on this post, so I'll leave things there.
As long as your not stretching your arm out to get the fish as close to the camera lens as friggin' possible to make it (& and your hand look giganto), carry on how you'd like. Good use of Iron Maiden BTW.
Thanks for stopping by, checked out your blog and post today. Good read. Here's the link should anyone be interested…http://memoirsofacardiopulmonaryguy.blogspot.com/2012/05/fishing-as-fun-or-dont-expect-miracle.html
I am both humbled and honored to be called out by Mr. Bie. I have great respect for your creativity and originality with the Drake. Gin Clear is just a moniker I picked when the blog was created a little over a year ago about my new interest in the sport and the generally supportive online community around it. The name was chosen because it represented a state of clarity and pureness in addition to its overuse in the fly fishing community. Thank you sir for your recognition!Oh yeah, when is my latest edition of The Drake arriving in the mail?
Dude, I'm on your blogroll. Sweet. You were serious about that.
…more sacred cows….BRIAN O”KEEFEThe fake “Trout Bum” attitude – the Drake, fly fishing equipment ads, etc.HDR process photos – super saturated, other-worldly, over-processed picts.Grip-N-Grin fish porn photos…especially with Brian O'Keefe.Fly fishing films – see Trout Bum, HDR photos, grip-n-grin, Brian O'Keefe.Equipment reviews that never have anything negative to say about a product.All the online fly fishing magazine/journals that look the same, write about the same stuff, write about the same places, etc. There aren't that many people who can produce a good fly fishing magazine.
dude…are you really spending $500 on your trout reel? i get why rods can be expensive, but for a 5 weight you can just go ahead and buy the cheapest reel you can find. it's just holding your line. unless you think you'll accidentally hook an elk on your back cast.